What’s in a name? Everything!


The world renowned scientists in Israel have 30+ years of verifiable studies showing that CBD oil significantly reduces (and in some cases erases) chronic pain with no side-affects, and it is not addictive.

Other studies around the world have had the same results. Even medical studies here in Australia.

Yet we (those of us who suffer daily, with no or very little quality of life) are not allowed to access it because ‘wowsers’ hear the letters CBD and react with, “That’s cannabis! You just want to get high! Just like those 60s hippies!”

CBD (cannabis oil) contains NO THC, the stuff that gives you the high, so NO we CANNOT get high, we just want our chronic, debilitating pain gone. Oh, and to live a life approaching normal would be a huge bonus, thanks.

So if it’s the name that is causing all this resistance, why not change it? Call it something in Latin, people seem to love that. Or just something unpronounceable and therefore important-sounding like all the other drugs on the market, that are addictive and have a list of side-affects that take fifteen minutes to read and over two hours to understand. Then there would be no overreaction.

If they changed the name to simply ‘vitamin oil’ there would be no problem. Vitamins are easily imported, advertised and sold with claims that they ‘may’ assist every sickness known to man. I am sure it would be government approved within days, if government approval was even required.

But it currently has the name ‘cannabis’ in it so I must be a strungout hippie, chasing a high.

It’s all in the name.

People cannot get past the image that pops into their head when you say ‘cannabis’, of smoke filled rooms and people rolling around in their own psychedelic world. Yes, it should be their problem and not mine, but I have been in constant pain for over two years now because people cannot let go of their deep-seated biases.

I must admit that, until I became chronically ill, I probably would have thought the same – hippies out to legalise their highs from smoking weed.

It is a very deep-seated stereotype.

So I cannot blame anyone or get angry, there isn’t any point. I will, however, continue to write about it here and to my local politicians because chronic full body pain, with not a second of rest in over two years, can really get you down.

Then there is the massive financial saving.

I read daily of people with my condition, or worse, calling ambulances and going to hospital so they can be placed on higher pain medication for a while. Each visit costs you, the Australian taxpayer, thousands of dollars and clogs up an already stretched health system.

Personally, over the next few years I could save you all tens of thousands of dollars if I was allowed to buy what I know helps my condition.

Yes I can try jumping through hoops and attempt to navigate a mountain of red tape (and I really mean a mountain because I have seen it), but that costs a fortune in time and money (a medical professional has to fill it out, paid by Medicare out of our tax dollars) and I don’t think I would survive the stress.

Red Tape. If only we could grow cannabis oil as quickly as Red Tape, everyone in pain would find instant relief.

The money we sufferers would save the government in unnecessary ambulance callouts, hospital stays and subsidised (addictive) painkillers would be in the millions. Money I am sure you would rather the government spent on other things, or even better returned to your pocket.

Which leads me to my final point. With dozens (closer to hundreds now) of studies over decades as proof that CBD oil is safe, not addictive, not capable of giving anyone a high and yet people are stopping us from accessing it, can we sue these people for the pain and suffering we go through every day?

It is criminal, in my pain-filled opinion, that I know what helps my chronic pain, I’m prepared to pay for it myself and save the government thousands in subsidised medicine, but I cannot buy it because the government here disallows anyone to import it, or sell it without a pathetic initial prescription that lasts just two months.

Alas it is all in a name. How about we call the oil Fred? Fred oil sounds pretty harmless to me.

Understanding is nearly non-existent in a world that doesn’t believe


Horrendous full body pain, from head to toe, for years on end. You either come to terms with it, or it destroys you.

I have read research papers (yes published in A Class Journals for those of you who don’t listen to anything else and are therefore, to some extent, blinkered) that state the pain that fellow sufferers and I endure is very similar to the pain a cancer patient suffers during their final three months.

I even read an online post from the family of a woman who died suddenly. She had suffered our dreaded invisible Fibromyalgia and ME/CFS for many years but her sudden death was a mystery. After her autopsy it was revealed she was riddled with cancer, cancer that started many years after her Fibromyalgia and ME/CFS.

Her pain was so bad she did not even realise she had cancer, and died oblivious.

Why do we have to come out with these stories? Israeli medical research (and US, UK etc) has 30 years of proof that cannabis oil can and does ease our suffering, yet very little action is taken.

Our Federal politicians would say they are taking action, but progressing as slowly as possible is not action. It is only minutely better than nothing.

If cannabis oil had the same amount of research showing it helped cancer patients, it would have been widely available years ago. The hue and cry demanding it be made available would have been thunderous.

And yet because our illness is not visible, it has words that make people question it’s validity (Chronic Fatigue, really? Are you sure you don’t just need a good night’s sleep and some exercise??), and the oil that can help us is called ‘cannabis’, everyone in authority seems to not believe us. Or not want to.

I wish they could experience what we go through every day, but just for twenty-four hours. I wouldn’t want anyone to suffer more than that, I am not cruel by nature.

Then we would see access to what helps us open up in record time.

If they will not believe dozens and dozens of papers published over the past thirty plus years then perhaps they would believe their own pain receptors.

In the meantime we, their fellow human beings, continue in agony for years. The heads of medical associations do not believe these trials have conclusively proved the benefits of cannabis oil.

If that is the case, then perhaps they should learn how to read. But don’t ask me to teach them, because when you’re in this much pain, patience is very thin if non-existent.

In twenty years they will all be seen as fools. Which means I have to suffer for another twenty years?

Heaven help us all.

Oh how I hate nights!!


They say that no matter what sort of disease or illness you have, nighttime is the worst time. You feel worse, suffer more, and daytime is so damn far away…

I’m currently feeling the worst pain I have ever been in since this journey (over a pothole filled road with boulders and lava to negotiate around) began.

It’s probably subjective because I have almost got myself off the drug that actually made me feel barely human. Unfortunately we discovered that it was also making a meal of my brain and would send me into dementia within ten years.

Yes I did pause, briefly, to decide what would be worse. What I had before was the worse pain in my life, but then I kind of enjoy my brain. Plus there is no way I could put my wife through that slow slide into dementia, something only evil could conceive of.

So here I am, struggling through horrid nights. I’m afraid to go to sleep these days because I know I’m going to wake up like this, just before my next dose of painkillers.

By the way my painkillers are addictive and their overuse is something like the third or fourth highest killer of people in the US. Don’t big pharmaceutical companies make safe drugs anymore?? It’s almost like they want you to suffer side affects so you have to buy more drugs to fix them as well.

But I’ll fix them! I’m on a very low and safe dose of painkillers and, as I said earlier, the other painkiller and energy/lifegiving drug I’m almost rid of.

So just me and my pain. I’ve got those pharmaceutical companies beat! I just take extremely low doses or get off them completely! Ha! Didn’t see that coming did you!!

Of course there is the massive pain to deal with, but every fight has casualties.

I just wish I wasn’t one of them.

Hallucinations…and definitely NOT the good kind!


I have been waiting (and suffering) for two years in chronic full body pain, so have tried many, many different painkillers.

Unfortunately most of them (perhaps all) have been opioid based, meaning they are incredibly addictive. And they all come with potentially wicked side effects. In fact overdosing on opioids is in the top five killers in the US, so you would think it would be a method of last resort.

Nope.

But hey, I didn’t care as long as they worked! I much prefer to be addicted on a low dose than live the rest of my life in full body pain, every waking moment. It gets to you after a while.

Then finally I was introduced to Endep. Not only did it help with the pain but it gave me a bit more energy as well. Bonus!

One of the (many) side effects of Endep is liver damage, so I had mine tested after three months. I went to my doctor to find out the results, very anxious because these drugs had made an actual difference to my life.

Good news! No signs of liver damage!

Then we discussed a few more symptoms I had been having, and my doctor started to look concerned. Never a good sign.

Apparently the minor hallucinations and forgetfulness I was experiencing was a direct result of the Endep. Some hallucinations can be fun, but I can assure you these were not.

Apparently I could keep taking these wonderful drugs but I would have dementia within ten years. I had a choice of course; simply stop taking them, which meant all my pain would return plus my bit of energy would disappear.

After crying like a baby on my way home I realised I really only had one choice. So, back to pain and no energy for me.

Each time I reduce the dose, more of the pain returns. I have now cut back to half of what I was taking and the energy it had given me has completely gone.

Apparently cannabis oil is very effective for people like me and it is impossible to become addicted.

Yes please! Sign me up!

Not that easy, as government red tape never is.

Not only do I have to find a specialist doctor who treats patients with pain and who is happy to write a letter endorsing me for a trial of CBD oil (and most doctors admit they don’t know enough about canabis oil to prescribe it, or are totally against it because they think it is addictive. It’s not, because it contains no THC which is the bit that gives you a high), then my regular doctor has to fill in forms and wait.

In the meantime I suffer in pain.

If I am fortunate enough for someone in the health beaurocracy to agree with my doctors, I am allowed to get a massive two months worth. Wow. Considering it takes medication a while to show any benefit this is cutting it fine to say the least.

Of course I can extend my trial beyond two months but that requires a whole stack of forms to be submitted and is not as likely to pass inspection.

So, yes the oil is available as per Federal government announcements, but only if I jump through twisted hoops and am lucky enough to pass.

This would mean being on the CBD oil for two months, then off it to see if my extension is approved, then go back on it and hope.

I might get used to the pain, but I will never get used to governments pretending they know what is best for me, and certainly better than my doctor whom I have been seeing for nearly two years now. It seems there are rules, regulations and red tape around anything that might be good for us. At least that is the impression we are given and unfortunately most of the facts confirm it.

How lucky I am that my Federal government is looking after me, otherwise I might actually get better.

My great prediction


In a few days time, if it passes into law or not, we will pay GST on any goods we order that come from overseas.

Apparently this will be a big boost to our local retail sector. Unfortunately my prediction is that it will not be anywhere near as big a boost as they are hoping for.

For decades we have all had to pay the Australia Tax. This is the massive differences in price to, say, a notebook for sale in the US and the price the exact same notebook sells for here. You can find even worse examples in everyday painkillers (we pay around $8 for 24 ibuprofen tablets and in the US you pay $10-15 for 500 tablets!

Other examples are DVDs, CDs, books, food…. basically anything.

And when the companies that sell these products at vastly different prices are asked why, the excuse they always offer is the distance to Australia and our smaller market.

So either the suppliers are making a fortune because no-one in Australia has the guts to ask the tough questions or our local retailers are terrible at negotiating.

Maybe a bit of both. Personally I am staggered by the number of people here who will pay nearly double for the latest smartphone or Apple product, as they sell for in the US. Go ahead, check it for yourself.

So, my prediction is that on the 1st of July the people of Australia will have finally had enough of governments introducing new taxes seemingly every week. (A sugar tax? What a laugh. Apparently we can’t be relied on to make our own decision on what we should drink, so of course we need a tax to help us out. To paraphrase The Beatles, they’ll be taxing air next).

We will have had enough, finally, and we will revolt. Personally those items I purchased from overseas – because of this thing that is meant to be free, called the internet – I simply will not buy again.

Why not? Because every time I go to do so online there will be a stark reminder in my shopping cart, GST of 10%. I will get angry and log out.

And I will not buy it locally because unfortunately local retailers, big and small, are lacking when it comes to understanding buying on the internet. Ask them what a Google rating is and they will ask what movie are you referring to. Seriously, key into Mr Google the item you want to buy and stipulate Australia. The first items listed will be Ads for overseas sites, followed by some articles or reviews (from overseas of course) followed by something completely unrelated. Unless you include a store name in your search you will not even get close.

So until the local retailers discover Google search, it will make me so angry trying to find the item I want that I’ll end up not wanting it anymore. Shopping online should be easy and fun, and only a dozen or so Aussie retailers get it.

So, our local retailers will see a much smaller increase in online sales than they hoped for. My prediction is that less than 50% of what was spent overseas up until June 30 this year, will be spent locally in the next financial year.

If I see a news article stating how local retail has boomed I will know it is false, and was probably influenced by government press releases. How do I know this? Because every year, about two weeks before Christmas, every news outlet predicts the biggest spending Christmas ever of $X billion dollars. Then in February or March, on page 27, will be a small article saying the figures are in and it was actually a very disappointing Christmas for retailers. It happens every single year, like clockwork.

I am especially a fan of TV newsreaders proclaiming that in the last weekend before Christmas shoppers went crazy and spent $X billion dollars. Hello? How could you know that? Did you ring every shop in the State and ask them for their sales figures? No? Would the shops even know what their figures were for those two days, and get them to you within just 24 hours so you can run your news item? Somehow I doubt it.

Wet your finger and proudly hold it up high. There, now you have as much chance as getting your prediction right as 80% of our so-called economic ‘experts’.

As Steve Jobs said on many occasions, do not listen to anyone who says they are an ‘expert’ or worse, a ‘guru’, because no-one is, it’s impossible.

So buy big and buy now, the clock is ticking. At least this is one tax you can choose not to pay. And just think of all the money you will save!

My illness fights back…


For the past six weeks I had been feeling the best, healthwise, since around June 2016.

Less pain, more energy, oh how I was loving it! Endep (amitriptyline hydrochloride) I love you!

Then silly things I dismissed as stemming from my exhaustion became more real, then downright worrying.

I was hallucinating, which was funny at first, just like the worsening brain fog.

‘Haha, silly me, what a laugh’ soon became ‘what the hell is happening to me?’

Obviously my symptoms were feeling neglected, poor things, because they sent hallucinations and extreme brain fog to get me and shake me out of my new (relatively) comfy world.

I would have a conversation with my wife, and the very next day I had no recollection of it whatsoever… I still don’t! And those hallucinations? I was reading a book when the lines started to appear as though someone had highlighted them in green and then yellow. The next thing I remember is thinking wow this huge piece of hot fresh bread in my hands looks delicious (any bread is a no-no for my diet) and I was going to take the biggest bite possible!

Then I was back in the real world, only to find myself about to take a large bite out of the book I was reading.

Yes all the small hallucinations and forgetfulness was a bit of a lark to start with, but now it wasn’t funny anymore!

Last Saturday I had my monthly appointment with my wonderful GP and told her of all my symptoms. She got out her information on Endep and read out the horror side effects that ‘could’ occur.

Then she said it was my choice, a reasonably good life for about ten years then Dementia, or I go off the drug and all my symptoms come back. I would be back to square one with my pain, dizziness, sensitive skin etc etc.

Chronic illness 1, me 0.

So last Saturday I reduced my dose from 150mg to 125mg. Not much, so how hard could it be?

Extreme nausea, thumping headache (that lasted hours and hours and hours) and hello sensitive skin! Gee, how nice of you to return to make my life hell. Now, as before, anything touching my skin (including air) was once again a source of sharp pain.

So what now? Unfortunately the other drugs I could try have the same possible side effects. Indeed the only medication that has worked with me over the past two years was CBD (cannabis) oil. I managed to score a small sample and it was wonderful.

No side effects, no addiction possible because the THC (the stuff that gives you a high) is removed.

But of course our moron politicians would rather spend our hard earned tax dollars and subsidise my expensive drugs, rather than allow me access to a native oil that I would gladly pay for myself. It would help tens of thousands, and has a multitude of peer reviewed studies showing how amazing and side effect and dependance free it is.

And it is available in the US, including one State (Colorado I believe) who paid off their entire debt within one year of allowing people to grow and sell this oil.

I shall say again for all those conservative and ignorant wowsers out there, NO the oil DOES NOT include the THC that gives you a high, hence the fact it cannot become addictive.

Yes, our wonderful Federal Government did say a while ago that we could have access to this in Australia. What they didn’t say was it is only available if you get two doctors to say in writing that you have tried all other available medication (which can take years) and they support your application for CBD oil.

If, by the glory of the public service, you are approved, they only allow you two months supply before you have to fill out a stack of other forms! So yes it is available but only if you spend all your time going to doctors, trying drugs that wreck your brain, and filling out a bazillion forms every few months.

I think I would rather be ill.

I did hear that some people were buying it from overseas and getting it shipped here. Great!…except the ever spreading moronity within our government then banned this. Isn’t it nice to know that our government is taking such an interest in our health? Here in South Australia they built the world’s most expensive hospital and ran out of beds within two weeks. So sure, we trust them!…..don’t we??

There is a naturally occurring plant that can be grown here, where the THC (and hence the ‘high’) part of the plant is removed, made into an oil and sold to over a hundred thousand sufferers as their only relief from devastating chronic pain and suffering. And a side benefit is that the government can tax it and make a fortune.

But no, far more efficient to keep it all at arms length, make hundreds of thousands of their subjects go through hellish illnesses and ignore the massive income stream they could receive.

Much better to sit back and wait for opinion polls, to see if they would gain more votes than they would lose, before helping the sick.

“I’m from the government, and I’m here to buy your vote.”

If you want to read more; https://eternalplants.com.au/news/medical-cannabis-red-tape-forces-thousands-turn-black-market-pain-relief/

‘We won’t break the seal of confession’


So, the acting head of the Catholic church here in Adelaide will ignore the new law that says a priest must report it to police if they hear a confession of child abuse.

Firstly, the church brought this on themselves so time to take your medicine.

Secondly, if it was a child in your extended family that was being abused, what would you do then?

To not report instances of child sexual abuse is surely the work of the Devil. To protect people who commit abhorrent crimes allows this evil to grow, and feel protected. You even forgive them for their sins so they can enter the house of your god.

If I was god there is no way I would let people in who had done such a crime!

Hell, I bet you wouldn’t even let one live next to you!

This is ultimate hypocrisy from an outdated and increasingly irrelevant institution.

So you will protect and forgive these crimes and welcome the bastards into heaven? Then you are indeed part of the problem, as well as being the foundation upon which these crimes have been allowed to flourish.

To cover up these crimes is almost as bad as doing them yourself, because you allow them to continue when you can easily stop it with one phone call.

All because some ancient text written by men, for men, has been interpreted to mean something it probably didn’t.

If your god really does exist he would be bowing his head in shame at the breeding ground of evil your institution has become.

I can hear the devil laughing.

Retired early due to chronic illness I now write about my illness & current events.

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