For the past six weeks I had been feeling the best, healthwise, since around June 2016.
Less pain, more energy, oh how I was loving it! Endep (amitriptyline hydrochloride) I love you!
Then silly things I dismissed as stemming from my exhaustion became more real, then downright worrying.
I was hallucinating, which was funny at first, just like the worsening brain fog.
‘Haha, silly me, what a laugh’ soon became ‘what the hell is happening to me?’
Obviously my symptoms were feeling neglected, poor things, because they sent hallucinations and extreme brain fog to get me and shake me out of my new (relatively) comfy world.
I would have a conversation with my wife, and the very next day I had no recollection of it whatsoever… I still don’t! And those hallucinations? I was reading a book when the lines started to appear as though someone had highlighted them in green and then yellow. The next thing I remember is thinking wow this huge piece of hot fresh bread in my hands looks delicious (any bread is a no-no for my diet) and I was going to take the biggest bite possible!
Then I was back in the real world, only to find myself about to take a large bite out of the book I was reading.
Yes all the small hallucinations and forgetfulness was a bit of a lark to start with, but now it wasn’t funny anymore!
Last Saturday I had my monthly appointment with my wonderful GP and told her of all my symptoms. She got out her information on Endep and read out the horror side effects that ‘could’ occur.
Then she said it was my choice, a reasonably good life for about ten years then Dementia, or I go off the drug and all my symptoms come back. I would be back to square one with my pain, dizziness, sensitive skin etc etc.
Chronic illness 1, me 0.
So last Saturday I reduced my dose from 150mg to 125mg. Not much, so how hard could it be?
Extreme nausea, thumping headache (that lasted hours and hours and hours) and hello sensitive skin! Gee, how nice of you to return to make my life hell. Now, as before, anything touching my skin (including air) was once again a source of sharp pain.
So what now? Unfortunately the other drugs I could try have the same possible side effects. Indeed the only medication that has worked with me over the past two years was CBD (cannabis) oil. I managed to score a small sample and it was wonderful.
No side effects, no addiction possible because the THC (the stuff that gives you a high) is removed.
But of course our moron politicians would rather spend our hard earned tax dollars and subsidise my expensive drugs, rather than allow me access to a native oil that I would gladly pay for myself. It would help tens of thousands, and has a multitude of peer reviewed studies showing how amazing and side effect and dependance free it is.
And it is available in the US, including one State (Colorado I believe) who paid off their entire debt within one year of allowing people to grow and sell this oil.
I shall say again for all those conservative and ignorant wowsers out there, NO the oil DOES NOT include the THC that gives you a high, hence the fact it cannot become addictive.
Yes, our wonderful Federal Government did say a while ago that we could have access to this in Australia. What they didn’t say was it is only available if you get two doctors to say in writing that you have tried all other available medication (which can take years) and they support your application for CBD oil.
If, by the glory of the public service, you are approved, they only allow you two months supply before you have to fill out a stack of other forms! So yes it is available but only if you spend all your time going to doctors, trying drugs that wreck your brain, and filling out a bazillion forms every few months.
I think I would rather be ill.
I did hear that some people were buying it from overseas and getting it shipped here. Great!…except the ever spreading moronity within our government then banned this. Isn’t it nice to know that our government is taking such an interest in our health? Here in South Australia they built the world’s most expensive hospital and ran out of beds within two weeks. So sure, we trust them!…..don’t we??
There is a naturally occurring plant that can be grown here, where the THC (and hence the ‘high’) part of the plant is removed, made into an oil and sold to over a hundred thousand sufferers as their only relief from devastating chronic pain and suffering. And a side benefit is that the government can tax it and make a fortune.
But no, far more efficient to keep it all at arms length, make hundreds of thousands of their subjects go through hellish illnesses and ignore the massive income stream they could receive.
Much better to sit back and wait for opinion polls, to see if they would gain more votes than they would lose, before helping the sick.
“I’m from the government, and I’m here to buy your vote.”