“Dizzy” – by Tommy Roe


A great song, I used to love it.

Used to.

That is until the inside of my head has impersonated a spinning top for the last nine weeks or so, without stopping for one microsecond.

I’ve had dizziness before with my illnesses (Fibromyalgia, ME and CFS) but it has always just come and gone, sometimes violently. This time it’s a constant whirring, with someone controlling the speed remotely. One moment it is a reasonable one or two out of ten (on the dizziness scale) then suddenly it’s up to seven or eight, with accompanying nausea and a feeling of having absolutely no control, over anything.

It’s a bit like being in a spinning, plummeting airplane. Or at least that is how it feels and how my imagination pictures it to be.

I’ve given up all drugs except my painkillers, which I have also reduced by two thirds in the hope of the dizziness stopping. I thought it was a side effect, as it started when I began a new drug. Now I just have more pain…and dizziness.

Maybe it’s not though, and that scares me more than anything. What if it is here to stay? I’ve barely maintained my sanity for nine weeks, I have no idea how I would survive nine months!! Oh please god no!

So now I hate this song, yet cannot get it out of my head. Much like my dizziness.

What is so damn difficult??


“Pain specialist Dr Marc Russo said his clinic in Newcastle treats about 2,000 new patients with chronic pain every year.

“And I’m very worried, and as many of us in the faculty of pain medicine are very worried, that ultimately it will lead to the prescription of more opioids as a sort of back-stop measure and we know that this carries significant risk and often very little benefit,” he said.”

So opioids continue to get a bad name, and cause more deaths by overdose than car accidents per year in the US because people take so many to try to stop their pain.

And yet CBD oil, which would earn the Government tax dollars instead of costing them by subsidising prescriptions and paying for opioid patients using hospital beds.

It is such a simple, straight forward decision with SO many benefits, why are we not following 40 other countries and giving chronically ill people the ability to buy it??

As usual in our society in the last ten years, in many areas, it makes no damn sense.

Reference here.

Internal dizziness driving me crazy!


For about seven weeks now my brain has felt as though it is a spinning top.

Some days it is bearable, others are filled with headaches, migraines, nausea and very little sleep as it worsens when I lie down. To be honest it is incredibly difficult to live with and I wish someone would put me in a coma until it was over. It is that bad.

It began when I was taking yet another approved drug for my condition and lasted several weeks, so I stopped taking that drug. My doctor, a wonderful woman, during my last visit said it could take a while to wear off. That was a month ago.

Since then I started another drug to help my chronic illness symptoms of complete body pain, incredibly sensitive and painful skin (every square millimetre), horrendous headaches, zero energy, the dizziness (I have had it off and on for nearly three years now) and general complete lack of quality of life.

It is, by my count, the eighth or ninth drug I have tried, perhaps more. Each time you have to build the dose slowly over time, then if it doesn’t work or you suffer a side effect (I’m good at those, there are dozens to choose from) you have to slowly reduce the dose to get off it. So months are spent doing this just to feel worse.

Why? Because they are all so incredibly dangerous. Eaxh one is highly addictive, has extensive withdrawal symptoms and can cause other significant damage if used too quickly, or just too much. All very dangerous to those who get fed up with feeling ill and so just keep increasing the dose, until they die. Opioid based drug (which the vast majority are) overdoses kill more people in the US now than car crashes.

Cannabis oil doesn’t kill anyone.

Placed on the skin and without any THC there is no high, are no side effects and no awful reactions if you increase or decrease the dose.

But it is illegal here in Australia without paperwork a mile high and a ‘luck of the draw’ response to your application. Less than a few hundred have been successful in over a year. You then need to resubmit more paperwork after six months.

You also need a letter of recommendation from a specialist, most of whom somehow choose not to believe over thirty years of pure and incredibly extensive scientific research into the positive effects of CBD (cannabis) oil.

Why? Perhaps because it is not backed by a big pharmaceutical company so it doesn’t come with trips to Hawaii for ‘education purposes’ or first class tickets to highly desired travel spots (‘conferences’) if you prescribe a set amount.

The only people who can make money out of it are governments, in 40 countries, who have legalised it and tax it. Some States in the US have completely paid off their debt and still have money left over for housing homeless people because the allow and tax this huge industry.

In Australia we do nothing. There is no financially backed lobby group that can take you to a conference at an exotic location to educate people of its benefits, just several hundred thousand sufferers (probably many more) who know it works yet are criminals if they use it.

Yet who are the criminals here? Those who choose to use a naturally occurring herb to take away their immense pain and suffering, or those who prevent the hundreds of thousands of others from doing the same because there is no patent and therefore no money to be made, no ‘promotions’ to offer.

The big pharmaceutical companies would make nothing from CBD oil and it is banned. Coincidence?

When will our governments, State and Federal, realise the amount of tax dollars they can make, the hundreds and hundreds of jobs that can be created, and most importantly the people whose suffering they can ease just by legalising a herb? It has more scientific research behind it than most of all the other drugs I have taken, combined, that cause emergency trips to hospitals and help overload our stretched system. Cannabis oil doesn’t.

It is such a clear decision, yet has not been made, that money must be the answer. Whose pockets would be lighter if people started to take something with no side effects or addictive properties instead of extensively promoted prescription drugs?

Pharmaceutical companies.

Wonderful to know what their main motivation for being is. In fact just read the Executive Summary of the recent interim report into our financial industry here in Australia and the same applies. Greed.

In the meantime I’ll just keep spinning. If you thought your last hangover was bad, try one that has lasted six weeks and counting.

I know what can help me, CBD oil, but greed and institutions with their aged heads in the sand prevent me from accessing it.

Aren’t we meant to be a humane society, where the sick are allowed to be treated with what makes them better, no matter who benefits?

It’s all going to hell in a handcart


Politicians found guilty of lying to Parliament by a Senate Committee but keep their jobs, rich Catholic schools receiving billions of dollars, family child carers and carers for ill family members paid below the poverty line, pensions not increased for over 35 years but top tax rates raised allowing the highest earnings with the lowest tax rates ever.

This is the new Australia, and I for one am devastated that in ‘growing up’ we have become, at the top and fast filtering down, just a bunch of selfish hyperactive kids out for what we can get for ourselves. Five Prime Ministers in five years is testament to this.

Local Councils charging exorbitant rates that grow above inflation every year, some of the highest electricity prices in the world, car registration costs tripling (or more) within the last five years so now old and worthless vehicles cost more to register than they are worth.

People in institutions like unions, Councils, government found to be spending as much as possible as if it is their right to do so, not caring the money was paid by us, the electorate.

Fines increased by multiples, not even a backwards glance at the CPI.

Banks and Insurance companies charging us for services we do not receive, for products we do not need, even if we are dead.

We complain about a seemingly corrupt-ridden USA, yet in our own society we trample on the rights of individuals, charge way more than necessary for vital services (unless keeping a growing beurocrocay well fed is some sort of benefit to us all) and keep a vast number of our fellow citizens below poverty, with pathetic allowances that are meant to help those who fall between the cracks, not actively widen those cracks.

And we wonder why many of our best and brightest move overseas? If I had the option I would seriously consider it myself.

We have far too many rules and regulations, our nanny state is now a baby state. The fines for minor transgressions are so high that those just surviving are pushed one step closer to poverty, even with both couples working.

The reaction to all this from the majority of our ‘leaders’ and politicians? They ignore their duties and have no KPIs or accountability to those who voted for them and pay their wages and perks. Instead of working for us, as they all promise to do prior to each election, they spend their time fighting for pre-selections, factional votes, ministerial positions that cover areas they have no experience in, and ultimately chase how many ‘numbers’ they can control which somehow defines their own importance, and therefore how much power they can wield.

Already the sixth Prime Minister in five years is jockeying for position, even before next year’s election.

Carers and volunteers contribute far more to this nation than our politicians yet live in poverty.

Either a massive shift is coming from someone with the guts to make serious changes, or a quiet revolution of a significant number of independents being elected, or worse, will cause our country to have the massive look in the mirror it desperately needs before it implodes.

Have we, as Australians, lost our unique identity?


Back when we were throwing ourselves onto an outdoor cooking appliance to try to be noticed, we knew (or at least knew we thought we knew) who we were.

We were fun beachgoers who didn’t take ourselves too seriously, had a permanent cheeky grin, didn’t care if the world liked us as we we were or not, and loved a bit of mischief with tongues firmly planted in cheeks.

Then we completely forgot where we were and became rather demanding (“Where the bloody hell are you?”), refused to call prawns shrimps anymore, used outside for lonesome walks instead of social gatherings, knew we had your attention and thought we deserved more, and smugly believed we were better than most (mainly because we were).

Now we are overconfident, look down our noses at others (“No more boats!”), know we are the best at everything except for keeping our talent from leaving Australia, haven’t got time to go to the beach anymore because we constantly worry about working harder for less money, suffering hidden inflation (eventually we will be buying chip bags with only one chip in them and drinks with only a few drops to quench our once mighty thirst), hidden unemployment, an average income apparently of around $72,000 when HECS debts start being repaid at the ‘average income’ of $54,000, can’t buy a home and don’t know who our Prime Minister is (mainly because half the time we don’t have one).

The concept of a ‘fair go’, once the core of our essence, has been redefined and mostly abandoned (just ask a pensioner). We pay relatives $250 a fortnight to be full time carers when the market rate is $2,000, have not increased social security payments in over thirty years yet the cost of living (CPI) has increased light years beyond official figures (which the Australian Bureau of Statistics agrees, and now calls ‘Cannot Prove Inflation’), have the highest electricity prices in the world, an absurd ‘Australia Tax’ made worse by adding GST, and currently have as our nation’s leader a guy who we don’t know, don’t really care about, or for.

I think I prefer the old Australia, even if I have to call a prawn a shrimp.

At least back then I wouldn’t have to call our Prime Minister “temporary”, or pretend that everything was under control. In particular I wouldn’t have to listen to the words “humble, grass roots, servants of the people, we really care” every year when the next PM is sworn in.

I’ll take some unknown food cooked over a melted female doll anyday.

It’s enough to make you choke on your shrimp.

Since when is it a crime to want to get better?


I share a chronic illness with millions of people worldwide.

It gives me, on an almost daily basis, more pain than I have had in my life in total, until now.

All of the drugs that are recommended for us have significant, serious and irreversible side affects.

Alzheimer’s, migraines, nausea, liver issues, high cholesterol and on and on and on.

So why are they recommended? Because big pharmaceutical companies make them, doctors (who are too tired, overworked, disinterested or just don’t care) prescribe them, and they make billions of dollars. For Research and Development we are told. Or maybe bonuses and conferences.

Why, in 2018, can I not get access to the one medicinal supplement that has more than thirty years of extensive, proven, large sample size research? Because it is illegal to do so here in Australia.

In the US it is legal in many States and Canada will be making it legal nationally this month. The US has reaped massive taxation benefits and Canada will follow.

We could have been manufacturing this by now, and collecting taxes I would be more than happy to pay.

Even if South Australia went ahead and completely legalised it’s distribution but controlled it’s growth, the tax benefit would pay for the new South Road within ten years.

So why not here? Why is Australia yet again at the bottom of the pile of innovation and acceptance of irrefutable evidence from over a dozen countries?

Perhaps if our Federal politicians popped their collective heads out of the sand, followed by the presently archaic national president of the AMA (Australian Medical Association), instead of fighting over who has the biggest office, we might actually move forward.

So tens of millions of us worldwide, and approximately two million Australians, suffer excruciating pain every day of our lives because the very people who are meant to have our best interests at heart cannot see past their own reflection.

Wake up. Eminent scientific researchers worldwide agree that Cannabis Oil eases our pain, does not have any side affects and is not addictive. And we will pay taxes on it.

Not addictive? Well then no long term money in it for the pharmaceutical companies to produce it, and so overdoses of OxyContin (the leading recommend drug) kill more Americans than car crashes each year, and we are following closely behind.

A stroke of a pen would give us back our lives, yet it is more important to get a spot on a shock-jocks radio program or to discuss who gets what Ministry.

I think I might join the exodus and move to Canada.

Cannabis oil still ostensibly illegal in Australia


Cannabis is a herb, so why don’t we make tumeric illegal instead?

I’m sure it has the same amount of side affects and addiction concerns.

“Turmeric Contains Bioactive Compounds With Powerful Medicinal Properties. Turmeric is the spice that gives curry its yellow color. It has been used in India for thousands of years as a spice and medicinal herb.”

Sound familiar??

Why is one accepted and the other not?

Retired early due to chronic illness I now write about my illness & current events.

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